


Won't you drag the lake and bring me home again

by Pollarize



Category: Bandom, Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Drowning, M/M, Suicide Attempt, lifeguard!tyler
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-10
Updated: 2016-08-10
Packaged: 2018-08-07 20:07:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 729
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7728115
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pollarize/pseuds/Pollarize
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>That moment of peace where your lungs are filled with water and your vision is dark</p>
            </blockquote>





	Won't you drag the lake and bring me home again

**Author's Note:**

> i guess you could say last night was a bad night

There was grass all around him. It flowed in the wind, swaying and sweeping with each pass. Josh thought that maybe he could describe it as beautiful. He turned around where he’d been sitting, memorizing each little thing to storage, saving it for those final moments when it was necessary to believe in something beautiful. Josh turned back around and memorized the way the sky was gray, but it wasn’t really. The sky was clear and blue, the sun shining over head and it was a perfect day for a swim, Josh didn’t swim. The skies looked gray to him. He snorted as he scooted towards the ledge.

 

He looked down at the water below him. He wasn’t that high up, had seen people jumping off of the ledge earlier but it was high enough. Josh couldn’t swim. He was going to swim.

 

Josh pushed until he was standing up, swaying with the grass as he fought to catch his balance. 

 

It was  _ one, two, three, leap  _ and Josh was soaring. Falling and falling until he crashed as he hit the water. He thought he  might have heard a scream but he couldn’t be sure if it was hiw own or someone else. The water surface breaking stung his skin, it made him wince. He was disoriented in the water, not sure which was was up or down but he didn’t care, he wanted it that way. Josh was floating up and up and he didn’t want that. Josh opened his eyes and saw the pale light filter through, growing brighter and stronger as his body worked against him and brought him back to the surface slowly. Josh screamed and watched as the bubbles left his mouth. He screamed until his lungs were empty and he was gasping for air. He was underwater and there was no air. He was choking and his body tried to fight it, autopilot as it tried to expel the water that invaded his lungs.

 

Josh stayed underwater until his head became dizzy and his vision darkened. His body stopped fighting.

 

A sense of calm washed over Josh. He didn’t need to breathe anymore, didn’t need to fight. He didn’t even really need to think. He felt empty and washed away, felt impassive and uncaring. Josh watched a fish swim by far in the distance and he closed his eyes. He went to sleep.

 

The last thing Josh expected was to wake up. He was coughing and choking again, water leavind his mouth and falling down his cheek. Down his cheek? Gravity, he wasn’t in the water. He wasn’t weightless and uncaring, he was freezing cold and choking, gasping for air. He was crying.

 

Josh opened his eyes for the first time since waking and was met with something beautiful. Brown eyes that were worried and concerned. They crinkled slightly when lips parted for shiny teeth. The eyes were smiling and it made Josh’s heart falter. Josh realized he was alive and conscious. Josh realized the man above him was speaking, explaining how he pulled Josh from the water, did chest compressions until he coughed up the water. Josh realized this man brought him back from his peacful and permanent sleep. 

 

He screamed again but this time no water filled his lungs. This time there was a crowd of people around him, watching, hopeful that he would recover well.

 

“Just let me die,” he screamed. Somebody gasped. 

 

“I just wanted to die,” Josh asid, looking up into the eyes before he closed his own and curled in on himself, sobs shaking his body.

 

The eyes aboce him were so disappointed, so sad. Josh wished he could please those eyes but he knew he would never be able to. He would never amount to what those eyes expected, what they deserved.

 

“I’m glad you’re alive,” the eyes whispered.

 

“You don’t even know me,” Josh whispered back, too tired and weak to lash out the way he wanted to.

 

Sirens were int he distance and hands were on Josh, picking him up and moving him, his limbs too weak to fight. Josh gave one last look to the sad eyes, the beautiful eyes, more beautiful than the grass he’d tried memorizing. He looked out to the water as they carried him away to the hospital. Protocol, necessary. 

  
The waves looked angry and the sky looked gray.


End file.
